why?
why should I be here?
what purpose do I serve?
sitting here
I feel the nothing
it surrounds me
I clench my fists
but it works it’s way in
between my fingers
holds my hand like a lover would
nothing is all I have

I’ve wasted my life
for all to see
something in me is going to break
I’m sorry if this hurts you
but I have no way of knowing
I cry myself to sleep
I try to forget the pain of being alone

impossible
and with each passing day
I feel that it will be this way forever
I can’t take much more
I don’t matter
I want to believe I do
I don’t believe

I will never find anyone
anything
that makes me happy
I have tried for years
dipping my hand into everything that might make me even think about faking a smile
behind my eyes
you can see my pain
I feel empty
I am alone
I will always be alone

I have never known what it really feels like
to be loved by another person
I have never known what it really feels like
to give of myself freely
no strings attached
no need to impress
I need to love
and be loved for who I am

but I am nothing
I have no self
I am just an amalgam
of everyone I have ever met